Vancouver 2025: Fatherhood Message
Fatherhood: a look to Past, Present and Future
Report for the Fathers Conference in Vancouver 3-4 October 2025, Canada.
Written by Fabio Barzagli, founder of WWW.PATERNITA.INFO/FATHERHOOD - The first educational hub devoted to Fatherhood, Childhood and Health.
Part I: Who am I?
Dear Partecipants,
First of all sorry for my bad english.
I'm 50 and since 2003 I run www.Paternita.info the biggest Italian site
about Fatherhood, Childhood and Health.
The site is translated in english thanks to some friends.
Since I was child, living in the marvellous Tuscan mountains, I was curious about nature and the mystery of Life, I was both Spiritual and Scientist and I was asking myself the reason We're here on this planet and what our main mission is.
I come from a humble family. I was lucky in childhood because I had a dad and mom. My father was a man of action and just a few words.. so It took me a lot to understand Him and understand masculinity.
I am a well-known musician, multimedia author and writer. Ex-entrepreneur. I experienced divorce at 19 (my parents) and also in adulthood (I lost my first daughter at 29 due to PAS, parental alienation syndrome).
During these 20 years of social activity I promoted family culture and awareness
through books, events, laws, web and mass media. Also I offered pro bono life coach support
for fathers, children and depressed people (me too I passed depression in 2018, healing 3 years later).
Part II: Why to Be a Father
While Mom is focused on her children, her husband, family and house,
the Father is also focused "outside" He's not only the Father of his children
but He is father to all children of the Community.
A Father is a philosopher, a guide about rationality and instinct,
a spiritual anchor.
Let's imagine a Father like a rock in a field full of grass,
a windy place where people need to find a fixed point to navigate healthy
and meaningful lives.
I know it's hard, but We can call ourselves Men.. only if We help young ones to become Men too.
But how can I be a strong Father in difficult times?
How can I always be sure of my thoughts, my beliefs?
Well.. You have to study a lot, experience a lot, have good masters,
that's the secret, you have to believe in yourself, be humble, dreamer and concrete at the same time.
You have to learn about The Line of Life:
just imagine an endless Line.. COMING TO US from our fathers, ancestors,
and CONTINUING AFTER US toward our children and descendants.
As Dads We're there in the Middle of eternity, in the Middle of the endless
Line of Humanity.. and We have to do our part, our piece of road; We can make the difference.
Also, I can assure you how beautiful it is going to sleep serenely because We made the "right thing" during the day, We did the best effort for us and for the Community.
It's not important if you believe in God, Buddha, Allah, the Cosmos,
Life or Complexity. Of course, We all know, as Fathers,
that We are little ants in front of the Universe
and We've to humbly learn something
about this Entity, this wide Knowledge, to hope for a good life, an honored life,
to teach something to our neighbor.
So, since lot of time, 80% of my day is spent in free cultural and charity activities toward my Community.
Why do I help people for free?
Because I'm a Father.
This is the right point of view as a Father, this is our mission.
While our body die.. our spirit can be immortal through our sons and descendants.
Part III: Problems in Western "Modern" Countries
Coming to our days We can observe We're not very happy even if We're rich,
We own thousands of objects, We don't lack food as in the past
(on the opposite We eat too much! and We're overweight).
I could say material wellness "replaced" spiritual wellness.
You just need to go to Asia or Africa to see how much happier are children and adults even if they're very poor, they die earlier, they have no medicines, they can eat 1-2 times a day if lucky.
But here in Europe and USA We're no more happy like in the past.
One person in two suffers from "stress", one person in five suffers from "depression" and takes medicines or antidepressants. The World Health Organization tells us anxiety and depression have been the first cause of disability since 2020.
The main reasons for this mess are:
- Too much material wellness and money accumulation addiction.
- The destroying of the Family institution.
The destruction of the Natural Family (man and woman with different and complementary
biologically based roles) started some centuries ago with the Industrial Revolution.
While during agriculture times dads worked and lived with the family, during industrial period they moved to a factory far from the family, they had no more time, opportunity or energies to act in the role of Father and Husband.
Another bad "hit" to Fatherhood and Family was during the 1900 World Wars where millions of children became orphans and "the line of fatherhood knowledge transmission" was broken.
The final "hit" was given from the '68 ideological revolution.
During '68 We decided that family was not so important, education was not so important, obligations and laws were not so important, We started giving Freedom without Limits (very silly), human rights without human obligations.
Words and ideologies like libertarianism, self-determination, relativism, individualism, feminism, destroyed all our moral basements, deleted our roots and healthy traditions.
We forgot the "important message" of our fathers and ancestors who gave us Democracy and Constitutions: "We born animals, We become Humans only if We are educated in a Family."
Yes.. after '68 We saw the decline of the Western world, We saw the decline of mental wellness, We discovered that School and Government CAN'T SUBSTITUTE the Family to educate our children in morality and mental sanity.
The family is the only natural educational institute for millions of years,
We've to go back to Family-centered societies if We want to be happy and healthy again.
Ending Words
Men and Women need to come back valorizing their natural biological differences,
to cooperate for a better Family.
We have to offer to our children a strong, balanced, happy family to give them a bright and sustainable future.
So the best We can do is to be happy as men and women,
to be in a strong couple relationship.
We need to be honest, brave, to eat and sleep healthy,
to exercise,
to do charity activities for unlucky people,
to be positive and philanthropist (stopping being always angry and misanthropist)
We have to take care of our health because We CAN'T help anyone
if We are not able to help and guide ourselves.
As Men We are Captains of the Ship, and We have to choose simple and humble women
who will support us in our hard mission.
I stop here. I wish for all men and women to find their deepest genuine identity.
Words and Written Constitutions are not important if We don't GIVE THE EXAMPLE to our children.
- -
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